Advanced English Writing Midterms
I belong inside my heart and mind. My heart and mind are the places that help and conduct me to be me; sometimes playful, sometimes quiet, sometimes just in between. Of course, these conductors are influenced heavily by my friends and families, so one may say that they belong to where their friends and families are. Personally, the word ‘belonging’ stirs up an image of self-satisfaction, happiness, and a feeling of safety. Places where my family and friends are, or even my family and friends themselves may be the ‘outer’ source of these feelings. The ‘inner’ source is my heart and mind, which help me able to be filled with glee, know that I am loved by my outer sources, and therefore, giving me a sense of pleasantness and satisfaction.
My mother often goes to temples when it is a special day, with my grandmother. I did not believe in religion back then and wondered why going to temples was a thing. After all, it seemed as if nobody were listening to her prayers, and I felt that nothing especially good had happened after praying. One day, my mother gave me a Buddhist rosary bracelet for my birthday present. She told me to keep it on, and being a good son, I did. Things changed after that. Not dramatically, just so much that I could feel my mental state being at ease more times than before. Just wearing that rosary bracelet, even though my prayers or thoughts would not all be achieved, at least I have something to hope for. I could then understand my mother; why praying was such a thing after 17 years after my birth. I believe the mind when wearing the bracelet is ‘better than nothing.’ Putting your mind at ease, situations flow by way easier than what I would have expected. I now wear the rosary bracelet every day, and give a short prayer every morning, just as my mother always does.
Of course, every person’s wish is to be treated nicely and as a good friend. It is not different with me, but to put in one more factor, I wish to be treated as a ‘normal’ person. What I mean by ‘normal,’ is that sometimes, people think that I am excellent in some fields, which I am not. The expecting words of others make me worried sometimes; the words make me anxious about what I am doing. I just want to be viewed as who I am. This does not mean I want to be underrated, but I certainly do not want to be overrated. Thinking about this currently, I might kick in another factor; someone who tries his best at everything. After all, I really do try my best at everything. Some fields turn out to be easier than I expected, I do admit, but that does not mean I am a genius. Every ‘normal’ person has something that is particularly easier than other activities. I see my friends as who they are, some of them are good at science, some of them are good at arts, and every one of them gives it their best shot at each field.
My mother tells me that she is a quiet person, but sometimes, I am not so sure. Yes, I believe she does go into the category of ‘quiet,’ but not THAT quiet. A few years ago, surely thinking that I must not be the only one to think like this, I questioned my father, with my mother at his side at the time. Well, it turned out that my mother was really quiet, even more quiet and shy than me. This shocked me. My father, with my mother assisting at some points, told me that he was sometimes unpleased by my mother’s quietness, so he told her to be more confident in every situation if there is nothing she had done wrong. At this point, I somewhat had pit on my mother, since I knew how hard it was to speak up when being an extreme introvert. Still, married life must influence a person greatly, and with 3 children between my father and mother, my mother had been ‘changed’ into a pleasant, less shy but not rude, woman. While being able to understand the change, I also envied my mother, as sometimes I am unpleased with myself when I cannot find my voice in certain situations.
Belonging, an important factor in improving life satisfaction and quality in my perspective, but there are times when I do not feel belonged. The outer source may think that I feel belonged to the, but there are times when my mind and heart are just so exhausted that these to conductors throw away everything out. Lucky for me, the effects of the ‘throwing away’ are not temper tantrums or swearing to some undefined existence, but rather I become even more quiet than usual; I am in my own space, the one and only space that where I will truly be belonged and feel belonged even during the hardest of times. When I recover from my exhaustion, my own space makes a doorway leading to the outside, and my feeling of belonging to the outer sources start yet again. I have forgotten one feeling that I think is important to ‘belonging,’ and it is comfort. Whether it be the outer source or inner source, a sense of belonging brings comfort, and it is at that time, that I feel belonged.
My mother often goes to temples when it is a special day, with my grandmother. I did not believe in religion back then and wondered why going to temples was a thing. After all, it seemed as if nobody were listening to her prayers, and I felt that nothing especially good had happened after praying. One day, my mother gave me a Buddhist rosary bracelet for my birthday present. She told me to keep it on, and being a good son, I did. Things changed after that. Not dramatically, just so much that I could feel my mental state being at ease more times than before. Just wearing that rosary bracelet, even though my prayers or thoughts would not all be achieved, at least I have something to hope for. I could then understand my mother; why praying was such a thing after 17 years after my birth. I believe the mind when wearing the bracelet is ‘better than nothing.’ Putting your mind at ease, situations flow by way easier than what I would have expected. I now wear the rosary bracelet every day, and give a short prayer every morning, just as my mother always does.
Of course, every person’s wish is to be treated nicely and as a good friend. It is not different with me, but to put in one more factor, I wish to be treated as a ‘normal’ person. What I mean by ‘normal,’ is that sometimes, people think that I am excellent in some fields, which I am not. The expecting words of others make me worried sometimes; the words make me anxious about what I am doing. I just want to be viewed as who I am. This does not mean I want to be underrated, but I certainly do not want to be overrated. Thinking about this currently, I might kick in another factor; someone who tries his best at everything. After all, I really do try my best at everything. Some fields turn out to be easier than I expected, I do admit, but that does not mean I am a genius. Every ‘normal’ person has something that is particularly easier than other activities. I see my friends as who they are, some of them are good at science, some of them are good at arts, and every one of them gives it their best shot at each field.
My mother tells me that she is a quiet person, but sometimes, I am not so sure. Yes, I believe she does go into the category of ‘quiet,’ but not THAT quiet. A few years ago, surely thinking that I must not be the only one to think like this, I questioned my father, with my mother at his side at the time. Well, it turned out that my mother was really quiet, even more quiet and shy than me. This shocked me. My father, with my mother assisting at some points, told me that he was sometimes unpleased by my mother’s quietness, so he told her to be more confident in every situation if there is nothing she had done wrong. At this point, I somewhat had pit on my mother, since I knew how hard it was to speak up when being an extreme introvert. Still, married life must influence a person greatly, and with 3 children between my father and mother, my mother had been ‘changed’ into a pleasant, less shy but not rude, woman. While being able to understand the change, I also envied my mother, as sometimes I am unpleased with myself when I cannot find my voice in certain situations.
Belonging, an important factor in improving life satisfaction and quality in my perspective, but there are times when I do not feel belonged. The outer source may think that I feel belonged to the, but there are times when my mind and heart are just so exhausted that these to conductors throw away everything out. Lucky for me, the effects of the ‘throwing away’ are not temper tantrums or swearing to some undefined existence, but rather I become even more quiet than usual; I am in my own space, the one and only space that where I will truly be belonged and feel belonged even during the hardest of times. When I recover from my exhaustion, my own space makes a doorway leading to the outside, and my feeling of belonging to the outer sources start yet again. I have forgotten one feeling that I think is important to ‘belonging,’ and it is comfort. Whether it be the outer source or inner source, a sense of belonging brings comfort, and it is at that time, that I feel belonged.
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